Big Announcement

I’m moving back to LA. 

For how long or exactly what that entails, I do not know.  I’m trying ever so hard to be okay with living in that uncertainty.  In my daydreams I thrive on uncertainty.  Gypsy-wanderer style.  But in my current, everyday reality, such massive uncertainty freaks me the hell out.

To be fair, I am prone to anxiety.  I’m working on it.

I don’t have the specific date of departure yet, but it looks like I will be leaving in the end of April and road tripping it out to Los Angeles.

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Annnnnd....enter overwhelm.

Here I am attempting to plan what should amount to a truly epic cross-country road trip with my best friend, and yet all of the questions and details have turned me into an insomniac.

Because here is the thing:  I’m going out there without a job.  Without a fully developed plan.  I mean, I have a partial plan.  I have people that I can stay with and the intention of subletting over the summer so that I don’t have to buy furniture or commit to a lease until I find my footing, with just enough money to do so.  But just enough.  I will need to figure out an income stream fairly quickly and that is stressful. 

I’m from a family that ensures that everything is already worked out ahead of time, instead of trusting that everything will work out in time.

Yes, I am the token risk taker of the family, and I generally like to be flexible and care-free, but my genetics and upbringing betray me and the secret truth is that their fears and concerns do affect me. 

Interestingly, I’ve got their support on this one.  They know that I have spun myself a tangled web of frustration and restlessness that needs to be broken.  They trust that this is a good move for me.  Beyond good-- necessary.

But then what?

I’ll admit that I hunger for my adventures to include a lot more international travel.  That is certainly the goal.  But, seeing as how I generally want to see EVERYWHERE, I also want to explore more of the U.S.A.  This is a rather large country, after all.  There is a lot here.

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A cross-country road trip is on my bucket list and here I am planning to check it off.  That’s amazing.  Plus, I am going to Charleston in a couple days.  Hopefully, Boston next month.  And then I’ll be road trippin’ it.  I even have potential plans to go up to San Francisco for a few days in May and I’ve always wanted to do a pacific coast road trip as well.  So maybe that can be the plan for now.  I’ll get my wandering in state-side first.  I’ll gypsy around the U.S. and enjoy some domestic hungry adventures.  (And get a job of some sort, of course.)

Instead of stressing over how to make everything work out, and how to include all of the epic adventures that I want to have IMMEDIATELY, I will be excited about this change.

(She says because, “Words are the first step towards deeds!” Right, Liz Lemon!)

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In truth, writing this all down is helpful.  It pulls the words out of my brain and removes some of the mental clutter.  Between this and some newly revamped sleep hygiene, I’m starting to be able to fall asleep before the wee hours of the morning. 

Progress.

Enter Overwhelm

And BAM!

It hit me.  The HOLY CRAP I'm really doing this!  I don't even have a departure date set and I'm already feeling panicked.  

I started thinking about all of the things that I will need to accomplish before I leave:

• Open a Charles Schwab bank account (considered by travelers to be the best bank account for travel, they reimburse your ATM fees)
• Get some vaccinations (probably, depending on where I plan on going.)
• Figure out at least SOME of where I'm going
• Sell my car? (If I plan to be gone long term, this seems like the smart move)
• Entrance visa for at least my first destination
• Buy travel insurance (a must for travelers!)
• Buy a few travel related health and safety items (locks, door stop, whistle etc)
• Actually purchase plane tickets and book initial accommodation

All of that can feel like a bit much, but honestly I think what really got to me was a panic about money.  I'm pretty sure it all started with the realization that my current Bank of America account has a minimum balance requirement.  That just cut into my travel fund!

I really ought to calm down because the truth is that I can simply close that account. If I want a separate savings account to store some cash while I'm off, I'm probably better off opening a CD or something that might get at least a minuscule amount of interest anyway.

So okay, I'm starting to talk myself down.  But DAMN, it's amazing how easily and quickly I can freak out! 

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I'm trying to trust life.  I'm trying to trust the words of all the wonderful travel bloggers out there who promise that it will be alright, that I will figure this out as I go.  I'm also trying to remind myself that anytime I've started a new adventure, whether it be stateside or overseas, even though it ended up being AMAZING it was terrifying and tough at first.

I suppose that is the way of truly worthwhile experiences.  They move you out of your comfort zone and into a place where you can grow.  

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I have a notoriously chatty mind.  Trying to get it to just shut up and be quiet already is not easy.  But maybe I shouldn't be trying to fight it as much as work with it.  Maybe learning how to embrace the part of me that over-thinks instead of wishing I would just chill out is the key.  

An ability to think about different possibilities and plan for those possibilities is actually a strength.  It is just the fear and paralyzation that can come with it that is the problem.

Perhaps that is the lesson: getting the head, heart and gut to all work in tandem. 

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One step at a time

Today I sent off my current passport, the application, a check for $110, and a photo (taken under massively bright florescent lights...awesome) to have my passport renewed.  It's one of the many steps I am currently taking in an attempt to make this plan of upcoming travel a reality.  If this is going to work then I need to actually put the pieces in order.  

Planning long term international travel can be exciting, intimidating and overwhelming. If you are prone to overwhelm, I suggest taking it in steps.  That's what I am trying to do. Breaking down some of the various aspects of travel into categories.  Perhaps the following (in no particular order):

• Destination(s)
• Entry Requirements
• Money
• Packing
• Health and Safety
• Homefront Tidying

It definitely pays to do your research ahead of time and figure out some logistics.  For example, your passport needs to be valid and shouldn't be set to expire within the year. Some countries won't let you in if your passport will expire in less than 6 months.  You will want to see if any of the countries you are planning on visiting require visas and what the process is of getting them.  A lot of countries provide short term visitation visas upon arrival, but some require pre-approval.  Also, some countries only provide very short term visas, so if you were originally intending on spending months in one place, you need to make sure that's allowed.  In that same vein, most countries offering limited visas will require proof that you will, in fact, be leaving.  Meaning you will have to have bought a ticket out of the country already.

Here's a few helpful sites for travel info that I'm currently using.

• www.frommers.com
• www.lonelyplanet.com
• www.letsgo.com
• www.bootsnall.com

Those are professional travel information sites that have a lot good info on them, but I also seriously recommend reading travel blogs.  I have learned so much about the reality of being on the road and gotten really good travel tips from the following:

• www.thisbatteredsuitcase.com
• www.wanderingearl.com
• www.adventurouskate.com
• www.legalnomads.com
• www.youngadventuress.com

I'm trying to breathe through all of this.  It is daunting trying to sort this all out.  I think a big part of it is that I need to answer a few really important questions first.  Important questions such as where am I going?!  

Kind of key that question.  

I think once I have that first location set down it will feel clearer.  I am trying to take care of the things that I can take care of in the meantime while I'm still shifting about in my mind about exactly what I am doing and where I'm going, so that an opportunity may actually be able to present itself.  I'm pretty certain that's manifesting 101- acting as though it is already received.

photo credit: airplane-collectible-best-net-resource.com